There are three things a man should do when faced with a divorce:
1) Go through the house and inventory of all the “stuff”. – You don’t want it, but you need to know what it is worth.
2) Never leave the kids until you have an agreement in place to see them regularly, that you are happy with.
EXCEPTION: If it’s an abusive or explosive situation – give SERIOUS CONSIDERATION to getting a restraining order against her. It will prove HUGELY BENEFICIAL TO YOU IN THE CUSTODY BATTLE. ( And trust me on this one, she wouldn’t think twice about getting one against you.) My book A MAN’S GUIDE TO CHILD CUSTODY goes into detail on this issue – download it here. You should probably also download my book A MAN’S GUIDE TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, she’ll use false claims of Domestic Violence against you to get custody of the children – no really, she will. Download it here now.
3) Self-love. Don’t be hard on yourself, it’s not all your fault. She had a part in this relationship too. Hit the gym, do some self-reflection either with a 12 step program, therapist or a self-help support group.