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Parental Alienation – Don’t Fight Fire with Fire

David Pisarra Dec. 22, 2011

In Parental Alienation cases, it is very tempting for the targeted parent to want to fight back and try to make the child hate the other parent who started the alienating.

This is a very bad idea. Especially when the parties in the middle of a heated child custody battle over legal custody and physical custody of the child.

The Alienating Parent is not an equal warrior in this battle. They have no sense of fairplay, there are no rules of engagement that they will abide by. The alienating parent is psychologically damaged and as a consequence they feel no remorse or guilt about what they do. They are sacrificing their own child’s well-being to satisfy their own emotional needs, so they are certainly not going to play nice with an ex-spouse.

The Targeted Parent is at a severe disadvantage in this child custody battle if they have an essentially normal psychological profile. An Estranged Parent is generally not capable of being as cunning, ruthless and cold-hearted as the narcissistic, borderline or histrionic alienator. The targeted parent will care more about the alienated child and be willing to walk away on the mistaken assumption that by leaving they are making it easier on the child. THAT IS WRONG.

The alieanted parent cannot fight fire with fire, they need to fight for custody of the child with strategy and develop a set of tools to box in the alienating parent.