Parental Alienation Explained for Alienated Parents
I frequently hear from my Los Angeles fathers, that their children’s mom is “cutting me out of my kids lives” and to varying degrees this is called Parental Alienation. There is a raging debate in the psychological community if it’s a psychological syndrome or not. But to men who are suffering the damaging effects of it, they don’t care. They just know it is ruining their relationships with their children and it’s a very difficult battle to wage.
WHAT YOU NEED IN A PARENTAL ALIENATION BATTLE
Fathers have a difficult enough time staying involved in their children’s lives. The courts usually keep the children with their mother when dad moves out. Mother expects father to continue working as much as he did. One, so that he brings in as much money as before, and two so that he doesn’t have time for the kids, which she then uses against him.
There are three main categories of Parental Alienation, Mild, Moderate and Severe. All of them are abusive, to the father, but more so to the child. Harming or destroying one parent’s relationship with their child is, and should be treated as, CHILD ABUSE.
MILD PARENTAL ALIENATION
According to www.KeepingFamiliesConnected.or the following is a rough idea of the mild level of parental alienation that people go through.
Mild Parental Alienation: Parents who lose control, make negative comments or exhibit negative behavior towards the other parent in front of the child, but feel bad about it later. Most parents going through a divorce engage in this level of Parental Alienation at some point. But they recognize they are wrong, worry about the effects on the child (or children), and take steps to stop inappropriate actions directed at the other parent. They understand that their child needs to have a healthy and loving relationship with both of their parents, to have the best chance of developing into a healthy adult someday. These parents rarely use the family court system to control or attack the other parent, and are rarely involved in starting a child custody battle.
We have fought these child custody and parental alienation battles for years, they are nasty and difficult. Many times it looks like Mom is being a protective parent, and if you’re in this fight, you need to know that it’s a long war, not just a one day event.